


Always being happy-go-lucky is only cool while you're young

by imagineering



Series: You'll be older, too [2]
Category: Gintama
Genre: Denial of Feelings, Getting Together, Gintoki-Style Stalling, Hijikata-Style Cursing, M/M, One Shot, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-13 01:15:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28769943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imagineering/pseuds/imagineering
Summary: Gintoki's completely average week keeps being disrupted by events that are of nearly no consequence, at all.
Relationships: Hijikata Toshirou/Sakata Gintoki
Series: You'll be older, too [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2109324
Comments: 7
Kudos: 73





	Always being happy-go-lucky is only cool while you're young

**Author's Note:**

> Hi,  
> Thank you for stopping by to read this. I hope you enjoy this story. It's loosely related to 'Melancholy is just a sign that you're getting old', which reflects on Toushirou's point of view on this, though it's not needed for this story, plotwise. Turns out, Gintoki needed some time to come around, as well. But hey, I think he really did the heavy lifting, somehow, eventually. Maybe?
> 
> This has been written for purely recreational purposes. I don't own a single hair of Gintoki's (because Sa-chan keeps stealing them even from the shower drain), nor do I own one strand of Hijikata's (because Sougo uses them for his Voodoo dolls).

Gintoki's eyes keep on following him around. It's not that he can't stop it, of course, but there's simply no reason to. The way Gintoki sees it, part of the reason he pays, or rather, should pay his taxes, is so that he's got the right to fully enjoy the entertainment provided by the law enforcing element of the government, being the police.

  
The Shinsengumi, in that sense at least, are a true honor to their profession in so far as they are incredibly amusing to watch. The sheer amount of incompetence and quirks, the seriousness with which they handle themselves at times just to be utterly disgraceful the next minute, all that is highly entertaining.

  
When Gintoki first made their acquaintance, he couldn't say whom among the officers he found most worthwhile to observe. The gorilla, his sadist understudy, the mayo and nicotine addict, the plain guy who reacted so nicely to being 'forgotten', he could have had his pick. Eventually, though, the Mayora made the race. That isn't actually surprising, seeing as he has the unfortunate habit of crossing Gintoki's path rather more often than any of the others. Gintoki would appreciate it greatly if that common knowledge was taken into consideration more generally.

  
"Gin-chan, are you ogling the mayo-bastard again?" Kagura asks from her spot on the couch, where she's watching her dramas.

  
"He is," Shinpachi confirms, before Gintoki can rid her of that notion.

  
"Hey! Who's ogling someone here? I'm just watching the goings-on in the neighborhood, as any concerned inhabitant of this street should!" Gintoki tells them heatedly.

  
"Then you might have wanted to watch this morning when Matsudaira-san made his way through with the Shogun in tow and randomly shot holes into the storefronts," Shinpachi points out.

  
"Or this afternoon, when the stupid sadist chased a criminal through by the point of his sword, slicing all the banners in his path to ribbons," Kagura adds, bored, and with a finger shoved up her nose.

  
"But you said we shouldn't bother you while you're reading the JUMP! so you missed it. Instead, you're watching now, when there's nothing going on, except for Hijikata-san standing at a corner and smoking a cigarette," Shinpachi finishes, pushing his glasses up smartly as if he's another bespectacled shounen-anime hero altogether, who just identified a murderer from his standard three-people lineup.

  
"Now, now, hold your horses there, Tantei-kun, don't you see the beast is about to pounce?" Gintoki replies, eyes fixated on Hijikata's body, as it starts tensing up and then moves in a flash, throwing himself towards the bottle of mayonnaise that Gintoki has dangling out of the window on a piece of fishing line. He pulls it out of reach at the last moment.

  
"Bastard," Hijikata growls at him from one story down.

  
"Haah, never gets old," Gintoki sighs, content.

  
"Take your disgusting flirting elsewhere, old man," Kagura sneers.

  
Gintoki minds what other people tell him to do much more frequently than they give him credit for.

  
"Hey, you useless grown-up, move your ass back up here and give me my pay! Don't you dare gamble this money away at Pachinko!"

  
Kagura is a growing girl, it's only understandable that she would react with discomfort when it comes to the pastimes of adults. So when she tells him to take it outside, of course he's going to listen.

  
"Gin-san, you promised to help with the chores!"

  
Even Shinpachi, though a little older, sometimes just lacks the understanding and insight needed to truly appreciate the things Gintoki does to keep himself occupied.

  
"You lousy excuse of a adult!"

  
"Ah, ditching work again?" Hasegawa asks, as he casually joins Gintoki on his trek over to the parlor.

  
"Just giving the young a chance to realize their full potential, or whatever it is you do these days," Gintoki replies, mentally doing a bit of flawed math to figure out for how long he can play today. If he manages to double his initial bet, he might be able to stretch it out until one in the morning, considering his usual speed and luck, which would give him about four hours.

  
"Very wise," Hasegawa agrees to his earlier statement, "a man should always know when he's not wanted."

  
"Hasegawa, this is going to be the beginning of a wonderful evening," Gintoki says, throwing an arm around the other while handing him a coin. Certainly, his luck tends to be better than the other's, but everyone knows that those who have nothing are the most willing to share, and, in case his success is not what it should be, maybe he can bum some of the coins he needs from Hasegawa, should he win.

  
It's past one in the morning indeed, when Gintoki finally leaves the casino, Hasegawa, and his money behind, heading out into the night. Clouds are hanging low over the Edo, reflecting its lights on their dirty gray bellies, and the air is humid. It's saturated in a way that feels suffocating and restless, and Gintoki is in that maudlin state of drunk again, where he doesn't seem to be able to escape unwelcome thoughts. If he happened upon a brawl right now, he'd enter it in a heartbeat. Not because he's angry, but because he's just so itchy, nervous, aimless, and while that's nothing new, he just can't deal with it at the moment.

  
That's when he sees him. He's standing at a corner, eyes fixed on something out of Gintoki's view, a cigarette between his lips. His steely eyes catch the light of a car for a second, before being plunged into darkness again, but it's enough for Gintoki to make out that iron focus, that determination, that only comes with a battle. Gintoki moves closer quietly, instantly sober, inching towards the other in the shadows of the houses around them.

  
He knows when it begins by the flexing of that strong, sinewy body, the pounce of those taught thighs, the fluent draw of a sword. Hijikata can be so loud, so flashy, so incredibly conspicuous, but right now he's like a cat, silent, quick, and lethal. Gintoki watches the other man jump right between the crowd of men busy setting up some kind of suspicious package next to one of the more popular clubs of the district. He isn't hesitating for a moment, and they aren't, either, pulling guns on him in the blink of an eye, but still, they're too late. He fells them like they're crops and he's a goddamn harvester.

  
Blood splatters, getting everywhere. Gintoki watches a drop sail through the air as if in slow motion, hitting the cheek of the officer before his sword clatters to the ground and he sinks down next to the parcel, ripping it apart with his bare hands in seconds. It's over before Gintoki can count to thirty, and even kneeling, the Vice-Commander is towering the figures strewn about him in the dust. The blood has left a red hue on Gintoki's retina, and in the strange lighting of the city he can indeed see a demon, sitting among those who fell prey to him. Gintoki wonders idly, for but a second, if he's ever looked the same. Then Hijikata turns and meets his stare dead on.

  
Those pale blue eyes are daring him to say something, they dare him to judge, Gintoki can feel it. It's such a contradiction, but he truly believes that precisely by seeing Hijikata at his strongest, his most dangerous, he sees him at his weakest.

  
"They moved up their schedule. Found out that Yamazaki was shadowing them," Hijikata says, and it doesn't sound defensive, but Gintoki knows that it is.

  
"What's that?" he simply asks, pointing his hand towards the remainders of the package in front of the Vice-Commander.

  
"A special edition of the Journey to the Mayo-Kingdom. Had to get my hands on it," Hijikata replies drily, moving to get up and dusting off his trousers. Gintoki's sharp eyes can identify the welts left behind by ripping through the wires of a bomb bare-handed. For all Hijikata lets Katsura blow up everything that moves within the Shinsengumi now and again, he's rather proficient at disabling explosives.

  
"Who wouldn't just kill to have that?" Gintoki drawls and steps closer, until they are only an arm's length apart.

  
"Yeah, who wouldn't," Hijikata mumbles and for the first time, he looks away.

  
Gintoki's hand acts on its own when it rises to the other's cheek and cups it gently. His thump wipes away the blood, though truthfully, it rather looks like he's rubbing it in at first, smearing it across the fair skin, until it finally comes off.  
Hijikata doesn't say a word, and he doesn't move a finger, but his eyes hold Gintoki's again, never once wavering.

  
"You're rather messy, Hijikata-kun," Gintoki admonishes softly, "you should work on that. Nobody likes to be around messy people. Especially messy eaters. Takes the appetite away, something like that."

  
"It's your disgusting eating habits that are responsible for your lack of appetite, you drunkard pre-diabetic," Hijikata growls, but his voice sounds oddly calm, oddly devoid of heat and anger. His frown is there, but even that looks so much softer. Gintoki detaches his hand from Hijikata's cheek and pokes the tip of his index finger right at the fine lines. They deepen around it.

  
"You don't get to lecture me on my eating," Gintoki refutes him gently.

  
"No. I guess I don't," Hijikata agrees, to Gintoki's surprise, "But doesn't that mean, in turn, that you don't get to judge mine?"

  
They are staring at each other again. It's nothing new, this understanding has passed between them early on, they have reached that conclusion within the first episodes, for heaven's sake, and they've never felt the need to put it in words. Gintoki just knows this isn't what this is about. But if it isn't that, what else could it be?

  
He's still wondering about that while he watches as Hijikata takes off into the night with a smile on his face that says he knows something that Gintoki doesn't, and for some reason, that's pissing him off.

  
So Gintoki continues with his observation, whenever he can make time for it in his tight schedule. Being the leader of an independent small business, that isn't all that often, but Gintoki manages to squeeze it in. He's watching Hijikata while they're at the park, Sadaharu and Kagura jumping around, scaring away all the other dog owners and additionally some mothers with their young children, especially when Sofa-kun joins in on the fun and the first trees begin to fall.

  
Hijikata's expression is a little stern while he screams at Gintoki for being a threat to the public safety, and Gintoki may have put on an annoyed face as well, when he tells him that it's his subordinate with that blasted bazooka of his that causes most of the damages around them, but Gintoki won't be fooled. The softness of that night is still there, somewhere underneath the tightness around those gunmetal orbs. Nothing Gintoki says makes it go away, and it irks him.

  
It remains there later that week, when Hijikata completes his afternoon patrol, falling once again for Gintoki's little mayo-trap. Gintoki thinks his fingers may have brushed the bottle this time, but he can't be sure, because just when he's reeling in the fishing line, Shinpachi calls from inside:

  
"Gin-san, Ketsuno-san is on TV!"

  
Gintoki, as the responsible person he is, needs to stay informed, of course, so he rushes to the couch opposite of Kagura and registers nearly every third word Ketsuno-san says about an imminent hailstorm striking somewhat out of season later that night.

  
"I'm worried about Hasegawa-san, if it's going to be that bad," Shinpachi frets.

  
"Oh, don't worry, Shinpachi, cockroaches don't die," Kagura reassures him around a mouthful of Sukonbu.

  
"I wonder if she's still married," Gintoki says pensively.

  
"Hasegawa-san isn't a cockroach, Kagura-chan!" Shinpachi admonishes her gently.

  
"Same difference," Kagura replies, eyes still glued to the TV.

  
"She's perfect, isn't she?" Gintoki adds to his musings.

  
"Gin-chan, you should really knock it off with that slobbering over Ketsuno Ana. Toushi isn't going to choose you, if you're always making eyes at someone else," Kagura tells him wisely, while throwing the empty Sukonbu-wrapper behind herself carelessly.

  
"Kagura-chan, you've got to dispose of your trash properly!" Shinpachi huffs exasperatedly and picks up the plastic to take it to the recycling bin. "But she's right, Gin-san, if you're serious about Hijikata-san, you need to check yourself a little. Besides, it's not like Ketsuno-san would consider you an adequate choice for a husband in a million years, so this is really quite pathetic."

  
Gintoki shakes his head with a sigh. "You don't understand this, Patsuan. And how could you, too? This is a situation that requires the multifaceted experience in life that only comes with adulthood. Sometimes, the best things are those you can never achieve. Sometimes, what you want to do is just to yearn, you know? To dream and to picture the life you could have, without ever reaching for it only to find out it's not even half as good as you imagined."

  
Here, Kagura leaps from her seat unexpectedly and with much vigor, pointing at Gintoki in outrage. Sadaharu looks up lazily from his position behind her sofa.

"Tamago kake gohan tastes just as good as I imagined it would when I eat it! Gin-chan, why would I look at food wondering how it tastes, if I can eat it? If becoming an adult means I'm the type of person who lets a meal grow cold while staring at it, I don't want to grow up!"

  
Shinpachi shakes his head despairingly. "Kagura-chan, nobody has been talking about food!"

  
"But Gin-chan looks at Toushi as if he'd like to eat him up!" Kagura insists vehemently.

  
"How can you even tell with his expressionless eyes?"

  
"Oi, I'm right here! And this isn't about eating! Besides, why do you keep mentioning the prince of the mayo-kingdom? I was talking about Ketsuno Ana!" Gintoki exclaims.

  
"As if you were, you idiot!" Shinpachi and Kagura scream at him, and he decides it's a lost cause.

He slips away elegantly, not at all scrambling from the combined assault of his co-workers, and walks at a swift pace until he's out of range of the different projectiles (the latest JUMP! volume, more Sukonbu-wrappers, a bottle of mayonnaise on a fishing line, his own sword) they send his way.

  
He's hardly two blocks from home, pondering where exactly to go, being once more utterly broke, when he spots Ikumatsu's ramen restaurant a few houses further. He is considering stopping by, trying to mooch some food off her, when Katsura arrives at her door, hurrying out of a side street down the road from Gintoki. He's as well disguised as he always is, which is to say not at all, but he's on his own, Elizabeth for once not with him.

  
Gintoki casts a glance around, already expecting to find one or another or even several Shinsengumi members on his friend's tail, and he's right. Hijikata appears in the same road that Katsura came from, lighting a cigarette and observing Katsura's actions closely. He's even doing it decently, keeping his distance, holding his cigarette in a way to hide both the smoke and the flame, standing downwind, watching Katsura quietly over his shoulder.

  
Katsura takes a short look around and then disappears inside the store. Hijikata instantly moves forward, as does Gintoki, so they promptly collide. There's a painful sting on the top of Gintoki's head of all places, while he stumbles backwards and glares at Hijikata angrily.

  
"Would you mind getting out of my way, Oogushi-kun? I know, you think you're more important than other people, but you're getting between me and free food!" he drawls. There's another flash of pain shooting through his shoulder, and Gintoki realizes their clash must have been harder than he first assumed.

  
"Who the hell is Oogushi? As opposed to you, I'm working, you useless, lazy asshole, so how about you piss the fuck off and let me continue?" Hijikata barks.

  
"Excuse you! As a hard-working adult, I'm perfectly within my rights to enjoy a free evening! At least I don't make my money by mooching off the pay of others!" Gintoki shouts, gesticulating wildly and feeling painful stabs all along his outstretched arms.

  
"You wouldn't know what hard work is if it ran you over with a freight train!" Hijikata screams back, his hands moving to his sword.

  
"Umm, excuse me, but would you two maybe like to come in? You're standing in the middle of a hailstorm," says Ikumatsu's voice to Gintoki's right.

  
He looks around and takes in the ping-pong-ball-sized hailstones scattered all across the street, making people scramble for cover. Gintoki turns to stare at Hijikata, who stares back, looking perplexed and strangely vulnerable, as if Gintoki just caught him in the middle of some shameful act. For a second, Gintoki thinks Hijikata is going to turn and bail on him, but then something defiant appears in his eyes and he turns to Ikumatsu instead.

  
"Thank you, that would be very kind of you," he says politely, awkwardly brushing splinters of ice from his shoulders.

Gintoki is sort of distracted by the shiny drops the melting hailstones leave behind in the inky hair of the other, mostly because he finds it absolutely unfair how it remains as straight as ever, even in such a weather. His own is probably already declaring a revolution on his scalp, curling further and further as the humidity in the air increases.

  
He grumbles a vague 'thank you' at Ikumatsu and enters after the other, while the owner closes the door of her store behind them. Katsura's nowhere to be seen, but that's no surprise. Gintoki is sure his friend knows all the exit routes from the restaurant if he needs them. Though knowing the idiot, he promised to help Ikumatsu out in the kitchen, despite his absolute lack of talent in that area.  
Without exchanging a word, Hijikata and Gintoki take a seat at the counter, drenched and silent, like two drowned cats the flood washed in. Ikumatsu looks at them and chuckles.

  
"The usual?" she asks, and starts whipping something together before they can answer.

  
Hijikata shoots a glance at Gintoki. Gintoki knows this, he realizes, because he's still staring at the oddly firm expression on the other's face.

  
"Is something bothering you?" Hijikata asks roughly.

  
'Your presence,' Gintoki means to reply very maturely, but the words fail him. He continues to look at the Vice-Commander, until those gunmetal eyes meet his again.

  
"Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you?" Hijikata growls.

  
Gintoki shrugs. "I've no idea," he replies honestly, despite not at all meaning to.

Hijikata's eyes widen for a second, then they narrow, watching Gintoki right back, considering. He opens his mouth, and Gintoki is on edge. He's certain that the other is going to say something important, monumental even, maybe, and he sort of knows already what it'll be, but it just remains out of grasp, like the answer on a test that you know you read and learned over and over already, but it keeps on evading you.

  
"Say, do you-" Hijikata starts, only to be interrupted by a long-haired person in a horrid, frilly, pink apron, wearing a clashing plum lipstick and too much mascara.

  
"Here's your meal," the latest rendition of Zurako sings, setting two bowls before them thankfully carrying Ikumatsu's handwriting more than his/hers.

  
"Thank you," Hijikata says politely.

  
"It's not you, it's Kats-" Katsura starts to say, only to be hit on the head rather soundly by a frying pan sailing over from where Ikumatsu stands at the sink.

  
"Oh my, I'm so sorry, my hand slipped," she says deadpan, while Katsura crumbles to the floor.

  
"Should we help?" Hijikata asks, looking mildly concerned.

  
"No, don't worry, she'll bounce right back. Just like when Otae throws the gorilla across the room, you know?" Gintoki says, waving Hijikata's worry away.

  
"I see," the officer says and ignores Katsura's prone figure in favor of his food.

He pulls out a bottle of mayo from his uniform jacket which drips water all over the counter. After squeezing an extremely generous amount of white goo onto a perfectly palatable dinner, he digs in with a content smile on his face. It's as if he forgot everything and anything else, happy in his little fat-filled mayo-bubble.  
Gintoki grimaces in disgust and starts to drop some sugar cubes into his own bowl, seeing as there is no red bean paste to be had here and he needs his glucose level to rise.

  
"So what were the two of you doing out in that weather together?" Ikumatsu asks.

  
"We're not together," both, Gintoki and Hijikata, reply instantly around a mouthful of broth and vegetables.

  
"I was doing my job, following a suspicious person, when this useless idiot came to bother me," Hijikata replies.

  
"Oh, I was the one who bothered you? I don't think so! You were the one who bumped into me, when I was just minding my own business, you brain dead dog of the government!" Gintoki hisses.

  
"Now, now, don't argue. The storm is going to be over soon. You'll both be able to do whatever you wanted to before it started," Ikumatsu smiles.

  
Gintoki's eyes fall onto Hijikata's lips. They were moving before Zura interrupted them. Gintoki wants them to move again. He mentally shakes himself out of it and focuses on his food. Kagura is right, it won't do to become an adult who lets his meal grow cold. She would be heartbroken if she heard about it. Not that he'll tell her. There's hell to pay, should she ever learn he went to eat ramen and didn't take her along.

  
Once they're done, the storm has indeed let up, too. It's dark, but the streetlights illuminate Kabukicho with a warm glow and even from inside Gintoki can see that there are no clouds left. He moves to get up and leave, but is stalled by a hand gripping his forearm.

  
"Didn't you forget something?" Hijikata asks, lifting a single eyebrow. They are slim and well shaped, his eyebrows, Gintoki notes. It underlines the quizzical expression rather nicely.

  
"Don't worry, Hijikata-san, he's going to pay when he gets his next check, aren't you, Gintoki?" Ikumatsu grins, even though there's a fierceness to that smile.

  
Hijikata looks between them, sighs, and shakes his head.

  
"How much for the two of us?" he asks, stunning both, the woman behind the counter and Gintoki himself.

He turns to watch in surprise as Hijikata calmly pays for his meal without being forced to or tricked into. He's so baffled that he nearly forgets to walk after the other is done, only remembering his intentions when Hijikata takes his arm again and drags him out of the store. Once in front of the door, Hijikata reaches into his drying jacket and pulls out a pack of cigarettes. It's a little soggy from what Gintoki can tell, but he manages to find a dry cigarette and lights it up.

  
"You're doing it again, you know?" Hijikata remarks.

  
"Doing what?" Gintoki asks, pretending to be bored, scratching his head.

  
"You're staring. I can feel your eyes on me all the time," Hijikata replies. He turns to look at Gintoki, too.

  
"Isn't that just your imagination?" Gintoki tries to drawl, but it falls short, sounding less mocking and more pleading.

  
"No," Hijikata states simply.

  
There's a short silence. Gintoki feels trapped and much too sober for this. He doesn't know what to say, and while he could probably just worm his way out of this one, he doesn't want to. No, actually, he kind of wants to sit down at the table and eat his meal while it's hot and smoking and looking at him as if it knows something he doesn't. He just can't find his goddamn chopsticks.

  
A small smile spreads on Hijikata's face and he turns away, beginning to walk back to the barracks, dropping the spent cigarette as he goes.

  
"It's not like I mind, though. You staring, that is," he says.

  
Something bursts inside Gintoki's brain. There it is, the fucking answer he's been trying to find, and of course the stupid mayo-addict had to get it first. He can't be upstaged like that, he's the main character, for heaven's sake.

  
"Hey, V-bangs, would you go out for dinner with me sometime?" Gintoki asks.

  
Hijikata stops and turns around.

  
"I just did, you unbelievable idiot. I even paid for it!" he shouts.

  
"Right," Gintoki muses, walking closer to the other, "so we did that already."

  
"What the hell is wrong with your brain? Has all that sugar eroded it already?" Hijikata jeers.

  
"It's not my fault you're so slow on the uptake, Hijikata-kun," Gintoki replies, now standing right in front of him.

  
"I'm slow?! Isn't it you, who-" Hijikata starts, only to be interrupted by Gintoki's hand, which presses down on his mouth.

  
"No, you need to shut up for a second here, while I figure out what comes next. I think it's too early to ask you up for coffee, and besides, the kids are there. And I can't take you out for a drink while you're in uniform, so I guess I should call it a night. Then the right way to do it would be..."

  
Gintoki meets challenging blue eyes. There's no hesitation and no fear in them. He hates to admit it, but maybe, just maybe, he's stalling. With a huff, he removes his hand and replaces it with his mouth. Hijikata doesn't even have the decency to act surprised. He simply closes his eyes and starts to kiss Gintoki back, like the totally arrogant asshole he is, and fuck him if Gintoki ever admits that his knees grow a little weak at the feeling of it.

  
It's surprisingly short, though. Sweet, almost, not at all the heated kind of contest Gintoki might have expected, as if they're fighting a different battle now, which isn't about dominance at all, but rather pacing. Gintoki doesn't care that much what it is about, he only knows he isn't going to lose.

  
"Hey, Yorozuya, you're getting rusty," Hijikata taunts, taking his hands from where they've buried themselves in Gintoki's kimono and pulling a bottle of mayonnaise on a fishing line from it. He turns to leave again, and there's a spring in his step as he clutches his prize in his hands.

  
"In your dreams," Gintoki calls after him, hauling in the bottle by the other end of the string, "try a little harder next time, Hijikata-kun."

  
Hijikata casts a glance over his shoulder. He looks at Gintoki as if there's something only they know, a secret they share. He smirks. Gintoki smirks back, because it feels about right now.


End file.
